sNowMaN

2008-03-04T17:20:00.000+08:00

CLICK HERE

I've moved.

2008-03-04T15:37:00.001+08:00

i seems to be affected.
why?
i didnt until they begin.
just take it by faith i guess.

2008-02-15T12:12:00.002+08:00

okay. guess it has been long since i've blog.
so now i'm back to blog.
just for your info i'm working in novena square now.
part timer as usual. since i'm on a 2.5mths holiday now.
i could say there are days which are really boring but days which are really fun.

okay. other then working i'm also training at innova with their touch rugby team.
i could say this bunch of people whom i'm training with are really nice people.
although there maybe some clown but still... i would say trainings without them around to be make fun of, would be rather boring i guess.
if i were to compare this team to my floorball sch team. i would say this is the team that i prefer to stay in. even though the team may not be winning matches like what my sch's floorball is doing. but its how they really judge you.

anyway. valantine's day is over. spent my time working in the working then after that went for touch rugby training which was quite fun. heh. i guess thats all. now its either i slack or work. if not slack and slack then work a bit then slakc again. then training. i guess thats all that i've to blog about. nth special or maybe there is... just being lazy to specify them.

2008-01-26T03:08:00.000+08:00

tears in heaven
erin clapton

Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven ?
Would you feel the same
if I saw you in heaven ?
I must be strong and carry on.
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven ?
I'll find my way through night and day.
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven.

Time can bring you down
time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart
have you begging please.
Begging please...

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven.
Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven ?
Would you feel the same
if I saw you in heaven ?
I must be strong and carry on.
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.

2008-01-01T11:18:00.000+08:00

okay was reading through something that i've gotten as a token of appreciation as a tl during youth camp and i came across this. "christian ways to reduce stress" and one of the point is laugh, and the next one after this is laugh more.

i've tried..
but i guess its just too hard now...

2007-12-26T15:29:00.000+08:00

has been sick for 9days and i'm still sick...
its really horrible.
yups, hopefully i can recover to enjoy my last week of holiday before i go back for school.

why do i feel so different this time round.
why do i feel so..... when u are leaving.
i know its definitely not an infatuation.
but i just dont know when is the right time.

2007-12-01T23:14:00.000+08:00

pieces of me here and there.

feeling so incomplete right now.

hasnt been feeling like this for a long time

trying to know what i know and not know what i dont know

know what i don't know and what i know

breaking down myself into pieces and piecing myself as a whole.

bring things together and seperating things apart.

things has been like a pendulum going up......

down.......

up.

down

down........

down...........

down.............

down..............

down.................

2007-11-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

back to blog.
days has been rather busy since the last time i've blogged
have been busy with camps, and stuffs.
and now i'm officially 18th. thanks for those whom have wished me.
but i guess this year wasnt a pleasent one. it is because this is my first birthday without my grandfather beside me to celeberate with me. someone whom i really missed the most.
someone who is always by my side since i grow up. the one and only distant familiar faces that i recognise since i could ever rmb things.

okay back today the rest of my weeks. was attending a camp straight after my birthday, which is my BB camp. went backt o help out at the same time to catch up with the people whom i really hope to see yet have not time to meet up with. plus i guess it is a good time for me to be away from all the things that i need to do or think off. its a realyl tiring camp but fun though.

then touch event was selling the can drinks with andrina. was located at a bad spot thus business was quite bad. then after that went to cwp for diner, went to arcade for a short while then went back to school for camp until today morning then come back.

ten church, service then after that celerbrated leonard's birthday. did some baking, which was quite fun. heh. the cookies are super nice. then after that home sweet home. so i guess thats all.

there are times that i remember to forget but at the same time i forget to remember. isnt't this ironic? what an oxymoron right? heh.

2007-11-19T01:54:00.000+08:00

1 week of school has passed.
people ending school and i jsut started school feeling relly crappy this feel days.
cranky, listless restless, tired. and really really dread to go school.
no motivation nothing. nothing makes me have the mood to go school.
feeling so dry at the moment so bored.
hate this type of feeling.
i feeling like i've learnt nth suddenly.
no longer having the learning drive.
during this weeks. there are so many downs yet not much ups.
up and down up and down.
everything just feeling so ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need a break................... =\

2007-11-02T00:47:00.000+08:00

just being random.
even though it has always been part of my thoughts.
and i guess that what alot people would think off too.
especially as they gets older.. (hey what are you thinking off man..)
i was watching tv today as i got home after training.
some stupid chinece ghost show, about a couple.
so sad lar.
hahs
as usual..
something i was thnking how wonder if you were to have someone beside you watching and sharing your feelings together at the same time wouldnt it be great?
hahs. just being random like what i've said.
but i guess i would just have to wait=)
as i believe its just not the right time yet.
or maybe not even the right person yet.. hahas
anyway finally my holiday is here.=) at 7 long weeks and only 1 short week of holiday..T.T

alrights. tata.

2007-10-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

okay it has been really long since i last post.
weeks ago Div3 ended and we WON! heh.
sense of relief when the div3 was over.
but i guess during the finals itself,
God was really there with me.
if it was for him i doubt i will even be able to last through the whole match.

so day just pass like how the water flows out from the tap.
and now it is 3 weeks after my holidays had ended.
right now quite like my class though we're still not that close yet.
but at least the ice had partially been broken,
which is something good.
i guess soon we'll be more bonded i guess.
and guess what test coming up next week,

back to this week.
more trainings!
and more more more intensive trainings... :(
because polite is like in 10 days time.
i'm so tired,
my body is so drain.
muscles are so tight.
hopefully will be able to get back on form by tmr.
cause i'm having training again.
i guess i'm in the week of not feeling so good heh.
maybe thats why people call mood swing,
which could probably be cause by being too tired i guess.
hasnt been slping well.
thus feeling very tired and end up looking emo and feeling emp i guess.

heh. aiya i dunno lar. lol. heck that.. heh.
i guess being in the mind of confusion is always something that isnt good.
and i suppose this is the time where i really have to really have faith in God
and really just leave everything to him and not just by myself.
alrights some end off by sharing something that i've come cross.

was viewing through my pics and i realise i took a pic of a book with a verse that says.
i think this verse is rather applicable to those who arent feeling so well at the moment.
and also to those who are having there exams.
just to assure you people that no matter how "un-peace" you are.
do seek council with the lord for he will always provides us with his peace.=)

"peace i leave with you, my peace i give to you..." (john12:27)

2007-09-21T17:39:00.000+08:00

okay back for updates.

week has ended, or prehaps its sch week has ended.

yups pretty boring still as usual new classmates = no link

thus there isnt much movtivation for me to choose to go class early each day

and now i'm always late too =X

anyway gotta know my classmates better,

as usual it always start with the guys first,

not that i'm something wrong(i'm straight-.-)

but its always easier to link with the guys first then follow by the girls.

and to my suprise there is someone in my class who is RATHER COOL!

can you believe?

someone who is randomly put into the class by the school not by birthday,

and out of so many students, this guy in my class acutally has something similar to me...

which is....

birthday, age and hospital that we are born in!!!

maybe to some of u, u all maybe think chey nth special, but i guess its really unique to me. plus out of so many classed both of us ended up in the same class plus we are born in the some hospital aint that cool? heh. and both of us couldnt believe it at first until we show each other our ez link card. yup i guess its 1 of the thing i'm really amazed of during the week. heh. k i guess that all.

2007-09-17T00:32:00.000+08:00

3 weeks has passed
just like it used to be.
through the weeks I've been really busy
as usual being committed to my cca floorball.

through this few weeks i've also been thinking alot.
so much that i feel so mixed up now.
sometimes it just hard to not have mix feelings.
how i wish everything seems to be the same as the past.

i hope everything will be back to normal soon...
and during the week something that God has constantly being reminding me is..

FAITH & PATIENCE...
and i suppose thats what i really need to focus on now....

2007-08-31T01:04:00.000+08:00

today i shall teach you people something new or maybe something for u to recap.

Four stages in ice therapy

There are four official stages to ice.
first stage => cold,
second stage => burning/pricking,
third stage => aching,
(which can sometimes hurt worse than the pain.)
Last and most important stage => numbness.

by what you have seen above i believe most of u should have guess it. i'm injuried again.
super duper unlucky can? its like 2 days away from the match and this happen... ARGH!!
plus the 3rd stage is really horrible man. okay shall end here, i'm wiped out.

2007-08-27T03:14:00.000+08:00

i guess. i really in love with this song now.. heh.

2007-08-27T03:01:00.000+08:00

Learning To Breathe
by Switchfoot

Hello, good morning, how You do?
What makes Your risin' sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is a way, that I say I need You
This is a way
This is a way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how You been?

Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
These abundant skies
Abundant skies, yeah

This is a way that I say I need You
This is a way that I say I love You
This is a way that I say I'm Yours
This is a way
This is a way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
(Learning to breathe)
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
(Living again, awake and alive)
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
(I'm dyin')
Yes I'm dying to breathe in
(I'm dyin')
These abundant skies
These abundant skies, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm learning to breathe
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how You do?
How You do?
How You do?
(I'm dyin')

2007-08-26T00:27:00.000+08:00

i've realise morning walks, with some drinks and dessert like, a little cup of soya bean and ice cream can be really relaxing... heh. and now it reminds me of picnic.

holidays ave just started..
school have just ended..
but i've still feel so bored.
when there's sch i'm bored.
when there's no sch i'm bored too.
okay i know contradicting.
but i guess that's life.
okay suddenly i feel so like going to west coast park.. anyone west coast?
heh.
really miss the fun that i have few years back.
but i guess, its really time for me to let go of certain things.

everthing seems so hard.

2007-08-23T23:58:00.000+08:00

had my last lesson today... kinda emo when my class previewed a video made by on of my classmate. almost cried man... heh. then after that rush for match then now i'm like a half dead guy lying on my bed.. heh. gonna ic e my feets ciao.

maybe i could say its hard to decide
maybe i could say i just dun wish to decide
maybe i coud say i just hope to avoid
but i just cant seems to do so.

2007-08-12T02:37:00.000+08:00

i'm really troubled.
sometimes i guess it just not good to stay up late.
as most thoughts will visit you any moment.
all i need is faith i guess.
time to slp.

2007-08-10T00:47:00.000+08:00

okay. decided to make a nice wallpaper,
and since i've such a nice wallpaper design by myself,
i've decided to make it into a blog skin too.
and i guess it still looks plain soon i will make it better.
anyway i created everything including the barcode.
took me 4hrs in editing, i guess i'm still very noob at editing.
anyway thats all.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION...

2007-08-08T09:37:00.000+08:00

Exceeding Joy

by Hillsong

I have found exceeding joy,

Jesus answered when I called

this Name that has saved me,

pure love that embraced me.
Mercy, grace, eternal life.

Bought from darkness to His light.

While lost in my sin,

He raised me and made me live.

Chorus:My soul magnifies the Lord,

my heart joys in God my Saviour,

for He lifts the lowly,

He's done great things for me.

I will sing, praising evermore,

He is mighty and Holy is His Name.
I will lift my head up high,

praising Jesus through each trial.

Though I have not seen Him,

I love Him completely.

2007-08-03T12:14:00.000+08:00

Postcard From Heaven
by Lighthouse Family

If you never say goodbye
To the best thing in your life
There are things you don't appreciate
At all

So it's best that you don't try
Holding back the time
Are you ever gonna be
Quite satisfied

Postcard from heaven
Go to where you belong
Never find the perfect situation
Untill you know where you're from
If you ever say goodbye
No regrets, I won't ask why
And I wish you all the best luck
In the world

Should you ever change your mind
Holding back the sunshine
Are you ever gonna be
Quite satisfied

Postcard from heaven
Go to where you belong
Never find the perfect situation
Untill you know where you're from

2007-07-16T00:33:00.000+08:00

On my Way

by Phil Collins

Tell everybody I´m on my way
new friends and new places to see
with blue skies ahead yes I´m on my way
and theres no where else that I´d rather be

Tell everybody I`m on my way
and I`m loving every step I take
with the sun beating down yes I`m on my way
and I cant keep this smile off my face
cause theres nothing like seeing each other again
no matter what the distance between
and the stories that we tell will make you smile
oh it really lifts my heart

so tell them all that I´m on my way
new friends and new places to see
and to sleep under the stars who could ask for more
with the moon keeping watch over me
not the snow not the rain can change my mind
the sun will come out wait and see
and the feeling of the wind in your face can lift your heart
no theres no where I would rather be

cuz I`m on my way now
well and truly
I`m on my way now
I´m on my way now
I´m on my way now
I´m on my way now

tell every body I´m on my way
and I just cant wait to be there
with the blue skies ahead yes I´m on my way
and nothing but good times to share
so tell eveybody I´m on my way
and I just cant wait to be home
with the sun beating down yes I´m on my way
and nothing but good times to show
I´m on my way

hope i'm really on my way......

2007-07-14T00:21:00.000+08:00

weeks have past again.

lesssons have once got me again.

life may looks as colourful but

presentations are so boring that i would more likely to be like this.realising my english is getting worse since i step into poly
i'm left with no choice but to dig up this from my shelves.

now i will explain the reason why it got worse

imagine yourself to be typing on this

everyday, into this

with auto corrections like this

now you know why its bad to type all the time?

anyway, breaks in rp are so time wasting

which allows me to find out this really cool thing from my classmate

which is this.

as guess using laptops in sch everyday has really drain away my brain power

due to the eye power receive from people in my class.

which makes me forget things so easily

that i've to depend on that to rmb what event i've or what i need to do.

and i guess soon i will be as crazy as my friends too,

and soon too much craziness and eye power

i would probably need a phone like this on my table

such that i wont dail the wrong number even when my specs isnt on.

okay forget what i've said above just that i've nth to so i just make full use of what i've learnt in RP, making visuals to covery my msg across. heh. okay i know... its lame.. nvm.

ever since school starts, i've realise how pack my sechdule can be, how much i've really miss out with the people whom i'm close to, how tiring can it be to go school everyday, how busy it can be in rp, there is just so many "how" that i can't simply list all of them hear. i wonder how long can i last, i feeling as though i'm just fading away slowly... how i wish every thing is just like the same old times...

how long more can i endure this waiting...

2007-07-02T23:24:00.000+08:00

Reaching For you.

hillsong

I can't believe the way

Your love has got a hold on me

Each morning I wake to find You near

You lift me above my fears

And set my feet on solid ground

All of my days belong to You

And I breathe in Your breath of life that fills my heart

You are my all consuming fire

I stand here before You

In wide opened wonder

Amazed at the glory of You

The power of heaven

Revealing Your purpose in me

As I'm reaching for You

God has been so real in my life during the whole of last week. its another week filled with hurts, fears and sadness, as i'm about to fall, there no one else there except God. the mighty presence of his. how much more do i need to say? he is just so real... i just cant resist but to reach out for him..... this song really speaks of how i really feel i guess. God is all the consuming fire thats left in me i guess...

2007-07-01T23:19:00.000+08:00

2nd week have passed.
which means..................
7 more weeks to holidays.
49 more days to changing of class
1,176 more hrs to start missing my class
70,560 more mins to meet new friends

okay cant think of anything that will start on that time, just being bored at the moments so decided to start counting everything. had a long and bad week man. trainings so bad, class so boring, tests are so draining everything is killing me... its just a whole week of zombifying process.

nothing special has hapen as usual, just that my floorball com is coming up this sun. i guess like what my coach has say its a new kind of exposure to us. really cant wait for it to start. will we get trash we don't know. just stay optimistic is the way now i guess.

2007-06-24T00:32:00.000+08:00

its only the 1st week of a fast paced school, i've alrdy starting to count down for holidays which is in 8weeks time. then can seems really long but take a look! its alrdy half a year. its really fast, another in which i can say, time is making me older. and i've alrdy spend so much time in poly! but still frankly speaking ( read properly arh!not franky speaking), i've not really got adapted to poly life yet.

and for what most people should know, RP has the slackiest way of the learning when you are not in school. and that is also one of which i still cant get use to it, as i'm someone who cant sit still or even let my mind be in peace of not doing anything for even a short while. as studying in RP doesnt even requires you to study at home, which means if you got nth to do at home and if you are at home, its either TV or GAME, but both neither makes me stay still.

really miss the old times where lots of transitions havent taken place in both my environment and the people around me. =(

lost for plot?
how i wish i am..

2007-06-18T22:35:00.000+08:00

since i'm lazy to blog i guess its good to start posting pictures that speaks of how i feel=)

like what eveyone always says "picture speaks a thousand words"

Title: A road to nowhere.

p.s got this picture from divantArt.

2007-06-17T21:53:00.000+08:00

why do i feel so troubled?
why do i feel so restless?
why do i feel so lost?
once again i jsut couldnt escape this feelings...

2007-06-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

calm.

can't help but to post this picture after viewing it from joanne. really love this photo, so nice and original. i guess this picture just shows me and also reminds me alot of things. so comforting and calming at the same time. how i wish i'm able to be like the people in the pictures, having a nice rest in the park like this.

time has pass so fast that now its about time that i start going back for sch. really hate it when school is starting, no time to sleep late, no days to wake up late and lastly back into the fast pace world where everyone will just be busy with their own things. sometimes i really wonder why must everything be going at such a fast pace?

i guess there are many answers to it, but to me i really hope to be in a world where i coudl take my time, enjoying the sceneries, taking short breaks in the park, having coffee in the cafe, spending time having fellowship with my friends then back to work. i guess time will just never be enough for us.

and something really struck me during service today, through the song "what can i do?".
i can say this song has really made me know alot of things, things that i've always been taking for granted. it really means alot.

=) i've felt something, but......

2007-05-29T20:30:00.000+08:00

time has gone so fast that i couldnt even catch up,
people has run so fast that nothing seems to slows them down,
school has been so boring that i can no longer crave for it,
when everythings seems so near so close but still i just mess it up.

Life have been so mess up, i'm beginning to find myself totally different when i'm home and out. Whats exactly happenly to me. I feel so stress, so stuff up, so cramp, so narrow, so lousy.... just feeling so horrible this few days... mask has been put on all the time, have the fear of people knowing whats happening behind.

I tried not to, but i just cant stop, am i still the same as it use to be?
or am i just lost? cause i can no longer feel myself there anymore,
feeling so sucky so depress.. but why? why am i feeling so?
i guess i really need a retreat really soon, or probably its just like what others has been telling me.. i'm just working too hard.

i guess. this time i really breaking down again....

2007-05-21T15:20:00.000+08:00

it has been quite awhile since i blog..
erm can say, my life has been really tiring..
have all the work during lesson time and also trainings that really drains me off
i guess its just really hard to find favour in some of my team mates i just, really hard to get them to start working.

okay. lets get a move out of sch.. things has really been great when its out of schools having the time to relax and not been pressurize by the curfew given by my Rj and also then time that i need to slp. its has been really good to see those who has been coming back from church by themselves who used to run away from calls or sms that we gave them. Its really the biggest miracle i guess.

okay. shall jsut end here i guess.
time passed really fast and its now the 6th week of sch jsut 2 more weeks wher ei can spend my time of the class and also the people in class in guess. =\

2007-04-29T18:16:00.000+08:00

times that i've struggle,
pains that i've being through,
memories that i've recalled,
chances that i've given up,
and last moments of seeing him is all i need.
when death had just brought him away,
all i need is to fight against my emotions now.

2007-04-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

times flies,
people aged,
and start to die.

not trying to be a pessimist, but just feeling that way for the moment. how many times how i actually count the time that i've wasted, the time that i've given up on. until last wed, i realise its just too much to count. visited my grandfather on wed, thank God he is okay alrdy, but now that he need special care he gotta stay in a elderly care center.

as usually after visiting my grandfather. my family would just go for dinner. as i was sitting there eating my dinner, plenty of thoughts were goin through my mind. lots of lots of things, the flash back of the time i spend with my grandfather, the times when my grandfather take care of me. there so many times that he had been there for me, but everytime i'm just not not there for him. recently i've tired to visit him everytime i see him i'm lost for words. tears just rolled down my cheeks evertime i were to be travelling home after i visit my grandfather.

i dont what to say or what to do. or i could do is stand there and do nothing. Feeling so guilty so scared and worried. i guess its propably the greatest obstacle for me to endure through now. i'm really scared that one day he will just pass away. i really cant imagine how i would be or how terrible i would feel as im alrdy feeling so terrible right now.

every now and then when i start thinking of my grandfather i just couldnt control myself and breakdown. sometimes i just wish im still young and that i wouldnt have to experience this type of situation. right now. im really lost. what can i do? nth but pray. all i can say now is that i really really scared...

2007-04-16T23:30:00.000+08:00

okay. sch has just started off with orientation. its was quite boring though but i enjoyed my last day of orientation though. it always the case when its the last day where everyone in the group suddenly gets high when it drawing near the end of the day. but all i can say is that the students of Rp are really practical. the moment when they group of people who cant perform well, everyone just walked off like nobody's business. that had party with our own sch till quite late then went home. so this how i've spend my last holiday's friday.

_______________________

sat had BB in the morning then followed by LTP, then had dinner in church, okay the wings were really nice. and the rice is really the nasi lamak rice, though it looks like the plain rice. and thats how my sat is gone.

_______________________

then sun had BGB enrollment service, its wasnt that bad lar everything turns out well and smoothly as planned. then had floorball in my sec sch's hall and i can say the flooring rocks. seriously i've no idea whats the material of the flooring in fajar but then i can say its good for floorball. its smooth and hard. WOOTS. cant wait to have another game there again. then travelled down to church to have floorball again. i say can its just my day. really. its the day where i feel so comfortable playing with my stick finally have my stick-hand feeling

(as in the feeling of them being together.)

i can say im happy with the way the people played ytd and also the way i've play. =)

________________________

now back to mon which is today. sch starts today, as usual after floorball the next day usually i dont really feel like waking up cause my body is aching, but then i had no choice. hahas. yup travel down to sch had my first lesson which is computing, so demanding and time consuming.

but then which the group members we did it quite well in the end. i love my group members. they are just so nice lar. how i wish we will be able to stay together as a group for the whole sem. which is so not possible. haiz...

2007-04-12T22:47:00.000+08:00

our hardwork has finally paid off. thanls leonard.

2007-04-09T00:36:00.000+08:00

time files...

2007-04-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

All Of The Words

by Kutless

How do I speak of the indescribable to You
I will try to explain these feelings that are true
So looking to the sky I will sing and from my heart to You I bring
All of the words in all of my life
that could never explain and never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide
so I lift up my hands and I worship
I worship You

In your presence I forever choose to live
I will praise You for it's all I have to give
So looking to the sky I will sing and from my heart to You I bring

All of the words in all of my life
that could never explain and never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide
so I lift up my hands and I worship

By Your grace You let me come talk to You
It's not that I'm worthy I thank you Jesus
For the love that You have shown

All of the words in all of my life
that could never explain and never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide
so I lift up my hands and I worship

With all of the words in all of my life
that could never explain and never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide
so I lift up my hands and I worship
I worship You

2007-03-31T00:28:00.000+08:00

okay. back to posting. just felling really sucky now. just dun feeling like blogging much suddenly. shall end here.

2007-03-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

alrights another week has passed.. yup indeed its has. which means another week closer to sch=) i can say my week has been quite fun. but not the first 3.5 days of the week. only the last 3.5days. on the later half of 4th day, i finally got what i want. shall keep u in suspense b4 i release the news of what it is and continue to decribe how i make my trip there.

i can say the trip there was tedious, okay. i went with renfred. cause i was only given the idea that the shop is in kallang and that its near the new floorball court. and so i went online and do all sort of nonsense research on where the floorball shop is and guess what? they gave me the address of which when they are still in Far East Plaza... -.-

then i move on to find the court and only 1 web shows the address and it doesnt says if the shop is there. so i went to streetdirectoy.com to search for the location in the map. and while i was printing out the guide on how to get there. my stupid printer. only print out the words and not the outline of the road. so dumb lar. so yup. thats all the sources that i got to get to that place.

so heres the start my my trip. when i reach kallang. the buses there really gave me a SHOCK. can u believe it. the bus terminal don't even looks like a terminal, more like a big toilet or rubbish dumb guess. and the main thing is that the buses there has NO AIR-CON. i thought all of those bues has alrdy been removed my the gov. its something that really suprise me. then as we reach the secondary destination. we move on to our primary destination. and this time its all by our feet. and we were guide by my stupid map to a place thats called "GARDEN BEER" or something liddat then the ppl there guided us to the worng directions. double sian diao. provided that the weather was extremely humid. after trying our best to find the place we stopped at mac for a drink.

then moved on.. and then i came to realise that i got their phone number. then guess what. we manage directions. but we couldnt find the sign board that they told us. so and up we took around 30mins plus plus to locate the shop. then... i got this....

just in case some people couldnt identify whats this.(then he must really update himself)

its a floorball stick. and a hockey stick. its totally different so dont miss taken it. that the thing i got=)

then dinner. we took a bus down to katong then guess what in the searh of good food we found a restaurant thats very good at its dishes name=D

isnt it funny? that all for the day.

FIRDAY

its my cg dinner but before that went to minds cafe. then had dinner at newton circles and then went to island creamery. a place where i LOVE their teh tarik ice cream. the best of all i guessed. authentic and unique.

then has a walked along swiss club road where a the beautiful house are. i can say. they are FREAKING RICH. and their hse can even fit a floorball court lar so what do u think? hahas. until we came across a mirror so we decided to take a photo.

alittle bit blur though.

yup then next day. which is saturday. had ltp service and then slack in church again. watching ppl play mag blast and then after that as usual send Vera home. yup thats all i guess.

last but not least for those who is still deciding where to go JC or POLY? may this is a good pic to explain.

FOR poly - just looking at the ppl doing in the foreground of the pic.

FOR jc - look at the girl behind.

and guess what? the period when the pic was taken isnt even A's yet its just CT.

(isnt the picture contrasting enough? hahs.)

so... MAKE a WISE CHOICE. thats all folks.

2007-03-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

this post suppose to come out on sun night but was too tired to type. so.. its stored in my mind until its being loaded out now. what else can i say about my week(last week). still as boring as ever in the beginning cause i'm still a full-time in my stupid crappy working place. only until thurs when i switch to part-time. i had 4days off=). its like a short break b4 i return backt o work. during those days. i had some bball games. other then that i was slacking and spending time in church.

haiz. i still miss those days where the church is filled with a mixture a groups of really different youth doing different things in cana hall. its has alrdy been 2mths... and im still trying to adapt to the changes that is in the church.

now all i'll see is just tables and chairs with people who is there only to study.
(i do miss the days i study in church too. the stupid things that i've done when i cant study)

there is just so many people who are missing. but i guess, certain people just don't bother. i'm really lost for words at times. and soon a day of emptiness just pass by again.

look at how nice the sun is. but theres just no 1 there to appreciate it.

then on sun. was in church again. then after pk(powerkids) had bball. then slack in church. until night then had dinner with weisheng. we were discussing over on how much the church has changed. then spending like 3hrs sitting at civic center. doing nth. listening to my ipod. then after tat yongling and sarah came to find us and stone and do some funny stuff on the glass for around an hour then they left.

just look at the way they look you will know how bored it is.

weisheng is so bored tired till he lies down. right weisheng?

then its just another day of fast pace, boring day.

last but not least. i still praise God for the things that he has done for me. really thank God for the answered prayers.

2007-02-23T22:27:00.000+08:00

okay.. wanted to blog today. but.. im feeling super sick so its gona be a short post. bcuz of the stupid sandwich i got food poisoning.. feeling so horrible. keep vomiting... shall end here..

2007-02-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

okay my past week has been busy working again as usual. and then helping out in Church etc. then my week end. boring week eh? yup its really boring cant wait for end of mth.. more freedom.. i guess. I'm really tired. lots of transitions, changes and affections. yup shall end here.

the way you respond
has really hurt me.
the way you react
has really stun me.
the way u are..
is never the same anymore.
i guess i just couldnt take it anymore.
im really giving up after 6yrs...

2007-02-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

there are so many things goin around in my head now. so many things that i really feel like writing it down. but then. i just feels so tired.

so many things has happen recently i felt so dread about everthing. nothing seems to keep me enthu anymore. maybe it just a timeout for me. i guess i just need to rest. stay away from everything... so so tired.tired. tired...

just feels like it raining in my head.
so tried of running after you
i'm letting go.... letting go.

2007-01-30T00:40:00.000+08:00

okay. i've finally decided to settle down after roaming around on net. viewing friendster's profile, reading blogs, checking mails and checking out the products that im gonna buy once i got my pay. hahas.

okay. shall start blogging abt hows my week then talk abt what im thinking abt k? hahs. my week has been fine, just that i feel really really tired this few days. just dun understand why when i actually had at least 8hrs of slp. may i just need more SLP! hahas. on the surface i've been working. but acutally im slacking at my workplace. hahs. other than that i did nth else. other then playing maple. which i've finally decided to stop. the REASON that i've stop is simple and yet important. cause it badly and its not advisable to play cause ppl often get addicted to it. but really thank God that i manage to stop playing it even though the temptations of playing with my church friends is there. then another reason that i'm not gonna play anymore is because i used to advise ppl not to play because its witchcraft yet now im playing isnt that ironic right? okay i guess thats all for my week. other that during sat i had floorball and cg.

talking about CG i felt the change of a new year, a new time slot. has really affect alot of ppl. not just in my Cg is guess. erm. i should say the whole youth ministry. okay its fine if u don't agree with me. but i just feels that way. i feel that the whole ministry has become so broken up. including my Cg(correct me if im wrong emily.) it just feels so different to be in my CG now. lots of changes are taking place ever since the new time slot, new sch changes etc. everyone is here, there everywhere.(its not that im blaming everyone for having things on, during sat.) all i can say about how i feel about my Cg now is just empty. okay i guess enough about my Cg.

okay. erm actually i find last sat sermon pretty interesting. and what ever the pastor kenny said is so ture. "As a leader gets higher, the lonelier he get." i agree in a fact that i had experience it in my school or anywhere else. everyone just has a different view on you, just like how they view an alien if they were to see 1. they just stay away from you or probably be beside you but doesnt wants to talk to you at all. yup. this type of feeling just sucks i can say. but on the other hand serving as a leader is still important no matter how hard or how horrible you were to be. anyway i really miss the time as a leader. i guess leading its really a large term. leading can be a form of good and bad. i really admire all the Cg leader and how they make use of their leadership to lead in Cg as a purpose to serve and at the same time to spread God's words to us. as for me i guess my leadership is fading away i guess. i just cant seems to decide on where to lead or where to serve. In BB? or in SFC. im totally lost. maybe its just not the right time to decide i guess. anyway just to afirm that who feels lonely as a leader that all of you are NEVER ALONE!

as God is always there for you!
the 3e principle

every time, everywhere & everyday!

2007-01-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

it has been long since i blog i guess. erm. i've working lately as most of u have know abt it. and some had actually visited me. if you really dunno just ask around im sure u can find out yourself.

k as usual had serivce, Cg and floorball today in church. as i was walking home, i was looking back at my past. and i could really see how God has change my life and had done so much miracles in my life way before i came back to church and when i start coming back to church. the many miracles and answered prayers. really praise the Lord for all the things that he has done for me.

1 of the many major miracles cum answer prayers is that my mum will allow me to go church even though she is a non-believer. and its also something which i've been praying about.

there are so many more things that if i were to list all of them i guess i will never be able to finish it.
k lar shall continue another day

2007-01-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

haiz. my emotions are just stirring inside me. really really miss going to school. miss the time i spent in school. feeling so blocked and mixed. the feeling is just so horrible. just cant seems to feel peace at all. haiz. time really flies. theres so many things which happen just so fast. a moment ago i'm still studying for my exams. now. its 2007.

i really miss 2006. it has been a year which i can say the most challenging year for me. a year where i really fall from my high expectations. in and out of every point of my life in 2006. the highs and the lows. never will i ever expect me to be able to face so many things that has happen in my life.

really thank God for providing people that have been really caring towards me. especially the people in church like, my dearest Cg and many many more. there so many that if i were to type out every single 1 i would have flooded the post with names. really miss them now haiz. shall end here.

start of something new

living in my own world,
didn't understand,
that anything can happen,
when you take a chance.

I never believed in,
what i couldn't see,
i never opened my heart ,
to all the possibilities.

i know, that something has changed,
never felt this way,
and right here tonight.

chorus:
this could be the start,
of something new,
it feel so right,
to be here with you, ooh,
and now,
looking in your eyes,
i feel in my heart,
the start of something new.

Now who do ever thought that,
we both be here tonight, oh yeah,
and my world look so much brighter,
with you by my side,

i know that something has changed,
never felt this way,
i know it for real...

i never knew that could,
till it happen to me, oh yeah
i didn't know it before,
but now its easy to see oh,

2006-12-27T00:19:00.000+08:00

okay. wat abt today. it has been a great day, though its partially being spoilt by the rain. hahas. still had lots of fun too. went to coyuco for orientation which was so short. then went bugis to shop with leonard when there nth much. hahas. then went back to cwp to had lunch with leonard, wei sheng, caryn and claire. then went to play bball in the rain for 3hrs. aroud there i guess just a rough estimation cause i couldnt even be bothered with the time since im free. hahas. then meet up with sarah and daryl. though its short but had lots of fun catching up with them. especially sarah she's so funny. then went roam around to waste time. hahs. after that send sarah home with daryl. and now here im bloggin and going to slp after this=D shall post some pics. =D

okay guess who is the 1 eating the ice cream above? pretty artistic right? u'll get your ans below

candlelight service. my dearest cg being so random always=)

simply love them hahas.

being random again hahs.

formal. leonard looks body-less

Keith, me, chan yang, eric and cedric

hahas. my BRO! hahas. nope it isnt him who ate the ice cream. hahas. its.....

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

SARAH. lolz. who had weird way of eating hahas.

2006-12-25T02:26:00.000+08:00

had lots of fun together. really thank God for bringing me back to church. and also thank God for providing so many wonderful friends beside me. if not i wouldnt even know what i've become now. shall post more tmr. i'm TIRED.

2006-12-17T23:53:00.000+08:00

ice cream buffet with daniel lim. both of us looked so dumb when we were making the ice cream cause its our 1st time. see the plate below freezing up the air around it.

sarah's face with the flower =D

dun u agree with me that sarah's pic above looks like pinocchio?

got shot by me while passing some food to me. =D

helpers of game stall.

beryl & sarah

Wei xiang and andrina

the busiest game stall ever. look at the pic below and you will know why its both tiring and busy. CAUSE the wheels always fly under the car.

the fishing stall. look at the gifts.

the kids just dont get bored. and is forever trying the game.

jabez arranging the cans. and waiting to got shot. hahas. just kidding

the props for fishing.

2006-12-16T00:29:00.000+08:00

shall blog tmr. too tired to think. anyway had ice cream buffet with daniel lim today. it was quite fun but the ice cream wasnt up to my expectations. hahs. but the process of making it is fun. shall post some pic tmr.

2006-12-13T00:26:00.000+08:00

Okay. here to blog again. as usual I'm bored. Been at home the whole day packing my room. yup. Rest both of my legs. especially my right leg. it swell more then b4. so hope it will be better by tmr. yup.

times really flies and its almost christmas alrdy. and things are all calling for me again. which makes me feel so dreadful. so reluctant to do any thing. to make decisions. have been feeling so heavy and confused after the camp. so many things have happen during and after camp. and i just don't know what i'm suppose to do. or what should i choose. or whats my plans. i've been feeling so restless. so much hesitation in my mind. so much worries. so many problems. so lost. i miss alot of things that had happened. i miss alot of people. hate this type of feelings. haiz.

i guess theres only 1 word that can descirbe how i'm feeling now and its. FALLEN

2006-12-11T01:17:00.000+08:00

work still in progress no background at the moment to tired to continue shall add in tmr nites!

2006-12-10T02:23:00.000+08:00

okay. just got back my internet connection after like 3-4 mths.i was so happy about it ytd. just got back from youth camp. i'm so burnt now. hahs. overall the cmap was camp though there maybe some part where its abit boring but i still love it. i love my group, epaphroditus. My group consisted of people like
VeRa(my dearest TL),

Me(ATL),
Ethan,
Leonard,
Justin,
Marcus Lim,
Tzun,
Ann,
Esmonde,
valen,
isabelle,
Grace,
caryn and
Edmund.
thank God for placing these people in my group if it wasnt for them. i believe i wouldn't have so much fun during the camp.

1st day of camp.
everyone was so quite. especially during the introduction. then after that we had some games. then check-in. the time fly pretty fast as we were goin through the station games. its also the day where our team felt so demoralise after the station games. As we lost in every single station game. after that was worship and sermon. then lights out.

2nd day of camp.
woke up at 645am. felt pretty tired on that day cause i really sleep well cause i keep banging into people while sleeping. hahas. 1st time in my life that i ever slp and crawl in my sleeping bag which i dint even notice only when i felt that i touch someone. I guess its the most challenging day too. we are to travel to AMK for the food challenge. the food that we ate was super nice. but because i had diarrhoea on the 1st day. so dint have the appetite to eat. then we rush down to SAV. when we reach there, we were the 2nd team. but still we got into the non air-con room cause of the scores that we got on 1st day. we were in the last bunk. i guess that means we are the last few i guess.
then we move on to the station games again. so our 1st stop was walk on H2O. which is the cardboard game. 1st we started with me and vera in front. we were doin quite well at 1st but after awhile both of us started feeling very uncomfortable. and i was quite scare too. cause i was very scare that i support her at the wrong place and scare she feel very uncomfortable. thus i was trying to create as much space away from her but in the end i fell. then we changed the people's position. now im with ethan. which was so much better. at least i could hug him now. (don't think too much k? i'm straight.) and then we end up with a 2nd place. then we move on to a field obstacle course. this time round we finished 1st but end up with 3rd cause of the phrase "piece me together". so dumb right? hahas. then last game was a IQ game. which was fun too. after that we moved back to bathe and had our dinner then we played dark room. i pity Sam who was the last catcher. those people who poke and distrubed him are really childish and rude. cant believe they actually did that when they are like sec3-4. then lights off.

3rd day of camp.
we had the treasure hunt thingy. its the most troublesome thingy ever. things were hidden in places which we may nvr thought of. then after that was the warrior fihgt thingy. its was a little funny. then we went back for dinner and had some games in the room. its was the most boring game through out the camp. then lights out again. then i stay up to write the post cards. but as i was writing i fell aslp.

4th day of camp.
woke up to finish off my cards. then packed my stuffs. we set off and went to the hill infront of marsiling sec. then we played war game which is the most tiring game of all and also the which require lots of unity among our own people. this is the time where we must listen to our commanders and we were to command people. then had lunch at a coffee shop. then walked back to church. though out my whole way back to church i was talking to chan yang. a guy who looks really like Glenn. almost identical. he so friendly and kind. cant wait to see him tmr. hahas.
then we had worship after we had our shower back in church. it was the best worship ever. with sk's msg. last time i thought i was the only 1 in church with some weird background. least would i expect to hear from sk when he doesnt looks like 1. his speech really touch my heart. which reminds me of my father who past away when i was young. after when the worship starts when my heart is still stirring. at that time i felt so broken and miss my Dad whom passed away when i was young. God suddenly said this to me "I'll be here, and everywhere. No matter how broken you maybe, how hurt you might be." i felt so guilty and i just broke down suddenly. i knew i couldnt hold back how i was feeling any longer. that night was the best worship i ever ever had.

5th day of camp
woke up. prize giving we got 3rd photo taking. that all. then break camp. after that stay in church for a while then went to play bball then went back to church to have some fellowship with, sarah, vera, lucille, mingjie, eujin, zeken, marcus P&L, nat, abel, adam and beryl. then after awhile most left. then only left me, vera, abel, eujin, zeken and limmy then we played taboo for like 2 hrs we finished the whole green deck and a bit of purple. then went home. yup thats all.

the cards that we've played.
okay. it took me 2 hrs to recall everything above.LOL!

anyway. i'm feeling like crap now. so many things happened lately. so much changes in my life. so much actions and little things that people said had effected me alot lately. felt so lost. not knowing who. or my wait was just nth. feeling so so crap. just like abel's favourite phrase.
"a piece of crap"

anyway,
THANKS VERA, thanks for everything that you've done during the camp. you have been a wonderful leader!

2006-11-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

cant blog for the moment cause internet is down. acci broke my adapter. will start bloggin once i've recovered my internet. cya

2006-09-17T02:19:00.000+08:00

as time draws near. stress are starting to creep onto people's life in which includes me too. as most of us are now busy mugging.. mugging.. mugging.. haiz... really no life man.. guess i must really switch to full study mode now.. shall really be my last post. and then... i shall STUDY...

yup. enough of studies.. shall blog about some things that happen recently.. erm.. it may not be in sequence.. k went to frankie's cafe to play pool during fri. as i was playing.. im listening to the songs that weisheng had played. most of the songs are the songs that i listen to, when i was sec1 and 2. i really miss my life when i was sec 1 and 2. haiz.nvm. then oh ya finally bought 3 proper pencils for me to do my drawings. hahas. yup MY DRAWINGS. not my art. i dun take art. hahas. ok.. im feeling very hungry now.. hahas. i know that was random hahs. erm yup guess that all that happen during the week i guess. as i've said i've been mugging so nothing interesting or anything will happen to me durin the week. =)

okay.. maybe i should post about my random thoughts of the week then.. hahs.

1) why certain people just keep showing attitude?
2) why do girls like to scream so much when they are playing something? (it very irrritating)
3) why are certain people so selfish? (i know i was ONCE liddat but i still dont get it.)
4) why is time flying faster and faster? (i know this qns is stupid. as i had say its my RANDOM thoughts)

yup shall end here.. take care to those who are reading.. and all the best for all your exams..

2006-09-06T23:23:00.000+08:00

finally go the song i want =)

Eternity- robbie willams

Close your eyes so you don't fear them
They don't need to see you cry
I can't promise I will heal you
But if you want to I will try

I'll sing this somber serenade
The past is done
We've been betrayed
It's true
Someone said the truth will out
I believe without a doubt, in you

You were there for summer dreaming
And you gave me what I need
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity...
For eternity

Yesterday when you were walking
We talked about your mum and dad
What they did that made you happy
What they did that made you sad
We sat and watched the sun go down
Picked a star before we lost the moon
Youth is wasted on the young
Before you know it's come and gone to soon

You were there for summer dreaming
And you gave me what I need
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity...
For eternity

For eternity
I'll sing this somber serenade
The past is done
We've been betrayed
It's true
Youth is wasted on the young
Before you know it's come and gone to soon

You were there for summer dreaming
And you are a friend indeed
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity

You were there for summer dreaming
And you are a friend indeed
And I know you'll find your freedom
Eventually
For eternity
For eternity

2006-09-06T23:20:00.000+08:00

A question i saw on my friends blog. and i realise that i should ask u all the same question.
Though we may be meeting each other frequently. but do we actually make an effort to have some fellowship? or is it just the little time we had on sundays. or maybe not even fellowshiping at all.

2006-08-27T21:34:00.000+08:00

okay.. this shall be my last post.. really the last post.. shall tell u ppl why later.. erm as for ppl who wants to know the song thingy. see the post below this k? yup

okay.. on a move to a serious note. erm the reason why i goin to stop posting is bcuz...
1) no time to post.
2) nothing much to post now or even in future cause im gonna study everyday and nothing intresting will happnen.
3) very lazy to post.
4) need to study.
5) don't want to use com for the moment.
6) waste time.

i guess i will continue to blog after my exams if i still rmb my blog link.. or even rmb if i hav a blog. yup.

shall move on to my week's stories hahas. lately i guess my mental got something wrong or what. after i see daniel lim's MSN msg. "thought of the day" suddenly when im studying everyday or when im doing something. suddenly i will have some random thoughts of certain things. almost everyday. serious. for a moment i thought i was crazy. keep thinking so much.. but after a few days i realise. actually its quite fun to have some random thoughts. even though its random. but at least there is something to let me ponder upon when i'm taking my break or when i got nothing better to do. yup.
k shall tell u what i've thought of the past few days. it does not happens everyday though.

1) if i am being able to choose to grow up or not to. what will i choose.

2) you always hang out with the group of friends that you were close. but does that means you know ur close friends well enough? when you care for them do they act.ually really care for u?

3) being alone is good or bad? it can both be good and bad after going though certain thoughts

4) do i still need to care for my friend when they dont seems to care about what u are trying to do?

5) does true friends really keep important things from you? i guess not.

yup that some of the things i having been pondering about for the pass few days. maybe you people should think about it too. i guess some of the questions are really an eye opener for me.. really. i've been observing been thinking. and i've come to certain conclusion of what i should do and what i gotta learn from. yes k thats all i shall post. guess this gonna be the last post.. or maybe once in a while if i got some intresting random thoughts i shall post it for u to think. tatas.

2006-08-27T21:25:00.000+08:00

k for ppl who keep asking me how i put my own blog song...

1) go to www.ripway.com
2) sign up a account
3) then sign in go to file manager
4) then load up ur songs
5) then see the link below then copy it
6)then go to template
7) paste the link in the player's html there
8) i tried to paste the html here but blogger dun allow me to post so i guess for the code u just view my source and see lor.

2006-08-20T21:19:00.000+08:00

okay.. so tired.. so so tired.. dint get enough slp for the past few days.. and i acutally missed service.... for the first time.. FOR THE FIRST time i acutally wake up so so SO late.. i guess im really exhausted... then i quickly rush and walk to the bus stop to take bus.. while i was walking.. my mind's so blank.. totally blank.. im walking just like a zombie.. and i almost bang into the pole.. LOL! yup.. then rush to church for CG and ltp. yup.

yup then during lunch bought some stupid magic trick thingy which is so hard to do.. yup but i manage to master it hahs.. but still not very good though.. then went to play some basketball then played floorball.. yup feeling so restless today.. yup.. even while palying floorball which is 1 of my fav sports. but.. haiz.. then went of for dinner with benn.. then went home.. on my way home yongling called me. then i wanted to go back to find them at first cause there is no 1 at home and its so boring to be at home.. but then.. i end up not goin back.. for 6 reasons

1) too far
2) very tired
3) very late alrdy (730pm)
4) they got school tommorow
5) lazy
6) no mood

yup so now end up blogging.. yup. k lar thats all.. im so tired.. hahas.. gonna slp soon... hahs. listening to my blog song now.. so nice.. yet certain people just dun appreciate it.. yup they just dont.

2006-08-19T10:45:00.000+08:00

Okay.. here to blog after some short period of rest.. hahs. yup actually nth much to blog.. yup. as u all know I've changed my blog song yup.. decided to change to this song when i heard something similar to this song the Chn01 of the cable tv.. yup then i thought i got that certain song so end up only mange to find this song in my com.. yup.. maybe to certain ppl they will think that this song is boring.. but.. to me it isnt boring at all. this song is filled with memories.. the long lost memories.. memories that i dont really care of last time.. memories that makes me cry. memories that makes me laugh. afterall they are just memories.. why am i so affected? they are no longer true any more.... no longer.. things have changed. time has past.. and nothing can make the memories real again.. nothing.... if only we can choose to forget what we want.. wouldnt it be good? taking away the saddening memories.. leaving behind the sweet and loving memories in our mind.. yup.. some stupid thoughts of mine... yup.. k shall end here. tata

2006-08-12T00:34:00.000+08:00

erm.. been long since i update but not as long as daryl.. yup.. back from thai but no gifts.. hahs. i knw very bad.. hahas.. but.. dun care.. hahs. yup. and im lazy to post abt thai..

ok then national did not just rot at home..

then next day floorball(i top scorer leh. heh) <- hahas just pure luck lol.. then study then chatted with jorim (hey jorim.. it has been long since i chat with u=) had a nice convo ytd.. thz alot for listening) then dinner then home

town today.. its was both a good and bad day yup. that all. tatas. i knw my post getting shorter.. i guess.. i getting bo chup alrdy.. i had enough. no more patience nth.. absolute nth...

it has been 5yrs..
until now..
i've realise u've change
really change.
u are becoming more and more like them
thought u are special.
but afterall u aint that special.
i had enough.
thats it..
pissed.
THE END.

2006-08-05T05:43:00.000+08:00

erm.. its 539am now hahas.. wanted to blgo ytd but too lazy to blog.. hahas. okay.. now im preparing to leave and my parents wake me up at 5am which make me waited for them to be done for a around 1/2hr -.- so waste of my slp... lol...

(Daryl- i got slp okay.. hahs.. anyway thz for ur phone call hahas.. was pretty bored yup.. cyaz on national day)
(Benn- hey dun worry i will take some nice pics for u to see.. =) cya... OH YA! do take good care of my Bball hahas.. rmb to clean it =D) <= looks like double chin..
(eddie- i dunno if u will see this hahas.. yup but just to tell u i wont miss u hahas.. just kiddin.. i guess i will hahas.. as u know i told u i was being forced to go)
(sarah- hey i will try to find the slippers for u yup.. hopefully cya on wed=) )
(wanda- hey dun worry i will try my best to take nice pics hahas.. since i hav my cam will me at thai.. hahas..)
(beryl- hey do takecare of urself k? becareful when u are cycling.. yup.. cya on wed =D)
(yongling- hey DUN skip ur meal k? DO takecare of urself.. and DRINK more water.. k? tatas.)

okay i guess thats all erm maybe not.. so sori if i hav miss out any1.. yup.. oaky.. i shall leave now hahas... tatas..

2006-08-03T19:15:00.000+08:00

on my way back home.. and look how nice the sun was.. love the sun lots hahas.. its so nice.. there are some more.. below but some not very nice so bear with it.. =)

2006-08-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

okay.. ie just shut my posts and now i gotta retype.. =( okay.. pretty bored todae.. anyway thz for ur ice cream daryl.. and oh ya daryl and wanda thz for the thought of buying ice cream... anyway i bought mine too while on the way back home.. a tub of chocolate ice cream and a tub of raspberry.1.5litre and 1litre respectively.. LOL sounds like im doin maths now.. hahas.. okay.. and i finished all in 15mins.. lol... hahas. okay.. erm guess shall show u guys some pics..

2006-08-02T03:51:00.000+08:00

THIS TEST EXPLAINS WHY I RMB EVERYTHING

Mervin, you remembered 88% of the information in the Memory Test.

But research shows there's a lot you can do to improve your memory. And if you do, it can help you function in more ways than you'd think. There are 6 main types of memory, which help us interpret and store different types of information. You scored highest in spatial memory.

That kind of memory allows you to remember things like the details of an object and how it relates to the space around it — like how furniture is arranged in a room. It also probably helps you picture where you last left your house keys, or recall the location of specific locations — even without a map.

2006-08-02T03:34:00.000+08:00

oh man can you believe what time izzit now?? its 330am. and im still awake.. nth seems to make me slp.. classical music, norm songs, christian songs, chi songs or even disney's songs.. why why is this happening to me.. i felt so heavy.. (benn so gald that u finally knw what i meant by heavy u knw...)

several thoughts keep goin into my mind.. flashing here and there.. pics of u just cant get out of my head.. why?? i really dun get it.. i hope to knw.. why.. ARH!!!!!!!!!!! im goin crazy.. i tried to giv up but cant.. seems so hard.. wadeva.. pls pls go.. lighten me.. stop staying in me.. somethings i just hope i could just flip my memories like a file so that i can choose wat to rmb what not to rmb.. i hate it when i can rmb everything..
(anyway wanda the qn that u ask really hits me lots rmb? "insignificant?")

2006-07-31T22:15:00.000+08:00

erm. well i slack though out the whole day. ya. that all. oh wel the weather spoilt my day. ARGH!

days are as bad as ever.
and its all about u.
im lost.
confuse.
broken.
mess up.
YOU.
yup you.
why you?
i really hope to know.
but i just don't know.
just don't how to express it.
leaving everything behind.
runing away.
hiding from reality
hoping its over.
but it just don't end....

2006-07-30T19:57:00.000+08:00

After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Depression:According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body>converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit!

2006-07-29T23:05:00.000+08:00

today i went for haircut and i guess the hairdresser cut slightly wrongly haiz.. nvm.. then after that stone at home the whole day.. haiz.. really very super boring at home.. haiz.. sianz.. just felt so irritated today.. haiz.. now im stilol deciding if i should play floorball tmr.. haiz.

it seems to be so close yet so far..
im stuck on the cliff
should i turn back?
or
should i climb down slowly?
haiz..
why does tis always happens..

2006-07-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

erm im very tired.. haha.. had lots of fun today.. haha.. back is aching, legs are aching, and arms aching and wrists are aching.. haa... yup.. and i keep saying the wrong things like bus become train.. train become bus.. camera- photo.. ya many more lar.. hahas.. yup

im lost..
should i wait?
or...
not to wait...

2006-07-26T00:06:00.000+08:00

this feeling aint good.. stress.. breaking down.. arh!! why.. i tried leaving but i just cant..

1) friends
2) studies
3)exmas
4)EVERYTHING

haiz.. feeling so useless so helpless..
when my friends needs help i cant seems to do anything
i really feel liek helping them but.. when i come to think about myself
im actually facing the same probs which i cant even solve
everything is stiring like before.. im so confuse.. so frustrated
but.. still hoping to help my friends..
sometimes i just dunno what im saying or typing actually
like now.. i feel so lost.. lost for words... lots of random thoughts.. thoughts that really bring my peace away from me.. thoughts that tears me aparts.. or even thought that are as painful as adding salt to the wounds...
argh!!! wadeva.. aiya rubbish everything is just rubbish.. feeling so crap.. just nonsense..........

2006-07-24T01:20:00.000+08:00

2006-07-23T23:37:00.000+08:00

okay.. today isnt a good day.. not at all.. haiz.. so many things happen todae.. things that happen right in front of me when i just can't help.. i feel so helpless.. so useless.. at the same time i felt so hurt... torn. tired.. mentally... physically..
(Sarah i guess my patience aint that good after all. rmb what u said that time at coffee shop when i was with richie? u said "mervin. u have a very good patience.")
(Daryl u are right u could just simply relate what goin on in me.. knowing that so many things is bothering me.. so many.. and i really thank you for being so understanding... )

and as i was sharing with benn on the platform todae.. alot of thoughts were goin thought my mind.. and 1 of the thought was that will i actually be able is react properly if i was the 1 failing? i dunno.. im emotional.. i guess it would really effects me alot.. especially when i has gotta do with friends which is more precious then a jewel to me.. or should i say priceless.. indeed its really priceless.. benn. sometimes i really hope my word will encourage u but sometimes the words that i said to u may seems so impressive but sometimes me myself cant even do it hope u wont mind.. anyway i hope our friendship would get even better each day=)

i shall continue the post tmr.. there is some more i want to want but.. im really tired..

when u are down..
i'll try to cheer u up,
when u happy..
im happy for u
but will u ever notice?
i dunno.... i really hope to know

2006-07-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

okay.. had.. lots of fun todae.. hah.. and a good time watching and chatting with jorim.. yup.. hey jorim we shall meet up another day ya? haha.. anyway thz for the $1 hahas.

if only what i dreamt was true...
i will never be so heavy anymore..

2006-07-22T13:03:00.000+08:00

2006-07-22T03:07:00.000+08:00

okay something is wrong with my net so i shall post tmr hahas... so tired now.. tata..
(guess i used up my energy climbing)

i've been trying to avoid
but u just appear again..
why?
aRgh.. wadeva..
should i leave?
should i stay?
i really dunno

2006-07-22T02:32:00.000+08:00

2006-07-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

oh well.. what about today.. nth much actually.. just another where is actually missed my waking up time which is 8am.. oh man.. .haiz.. so woke up by my sis phone call at 12pm.. then after that dunno what happen to my bro's hand then my bro-in-law came and fetch him to see a doc.. then as per norm i went to church to study.. yup.. and so its thurs.. so i studied phy.. which was nth to me i guess i finish up my things quick then iw as liek slacking in church... yup.then oh ya.. i got a cake from daryl's mum which is really nice haha.. i shall post some pics for it.. and some other pics.. haha..

yup this are the cakes

anyway i prefer strawberry cheesecakes

okay now i knw why plasters are meant to heal ppl... look at his pic and folo by another...

cuz it acutally forms a heart shape... LOL!!

and last of all i saw this pic in the church..haiz.. really miss the UnDer cOn. lots

2006-07-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

okay... what to blog.. erm.. i was abt to change my blog song to some else and guess what...

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Friday July 14th, 17:40 EST - We're sorry, but the maximum upload file size has temporarily been set to 2MB instead of the normal 50MB.We are currently waiting for new storage systems to arrive, and the maximum file size will be back at 50MB as soon as these are up and running! The new storage has been shipped out and should have arrived by MondayI hope you can bear with us in the mean time and upload any files larger than 2MB next week. Sorry again for the inconvenience this may cause.

urgh.... spoil spot.. lolz.. anyway today was a total useless day for me.. i cant believe times actually flies when u are actually stoning... which is a waste of time... haiz.. sharks man... cant seems to study.. guess just cant seems to concentrate that good yet.. hopefully soon.. i guess im gettin back to norm haha.. so happy.. lol..

okay.. had dinner at cwp with yongling then meet up with raymond.. erm then i ate so little lar.. lolz.. okay i tel u wat i eat...

1) spicy chicken

2)3pcs garlic bread

3)2 bowl of soup

4) 1/5 of chicken sausage

5)1 can of cheese.. LOL!!

and overall its was so little lar.. lol.. then yongling was like saying im crazy lol.. anyway my cheeseprata is on the way WAHAHAs... lol.... oaky.. guess that all for todae cuz its was a really boring day i guess hahas

2006-07-17T21:55:00.000+08:00

erm... okay.. finish editing it.. since every1 was like asking me to make the box bigger.. its nicer when its small but nvm haha.. yup.. bb

2006-07-17T21:04:00.000+08:00

okay listening today was easy.. suddenly day dream when its reaches the 3rd passage.. but manage to catch up with it after that haha.. yup.. my day was pretty good.. and im very tired today.. haha.. ya.. that all.. now editing my blogskin

2006-07-16T22:27:00.000+08:00

just change a new blogskin haha.. and i sort of like this skin alot haha.. cuz is MADE by me.. haha... yea me.. i knw its simple haha.. anyway the song now really shows how im feeling now... haiz..

im just lost with you..
so lost and confuse...
how am i gonna be strong with you..
i really dunno..
just keep trying to find my way..
yea...
trying....

2006-07-16T21:08:00.000+08:00

erm i guess my week wasnt really good as i struggle thru all my troubles.. each troubles bring me lots of memories.. things that i've been trying to let go.. things that im hanging onto.. and things that i wanted to let go.. but i just cant.. i guess i seriouly need a proper break.. everytime i want to leave aeverything behind but.. i just cant stop myself from been drawn back to it.. i guess im really giving up.... im tired.. really tired..

songs that reminds me of you..
things that were given from you
memories that was once wonderful
but afterall its nvr so nice..
taking a step away seems so hard.
never was there a choice for me..
never......

2006-07-09T20:10:00.000+08:00

i guess im tired... really tired.. i guess i cant hold onto it anymore... i just feel like giving up.. but every time i decided to take a step away.. it will always draws me back again.. serveral time i hope to be alone but at the same time i wants to be with everyone.. i just couldnt seems to make a proper decision. to be in a dilemma is always the worest case..

i guess i just worries too much think too much.. haiz.. forget it.. i feel so torn.. i just hate it.. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wadeva....

2006-07-09T01:42:00.000+08:00

k i guess another day of thoughts goin through my mind.. plenty of them today.. its all about my friends.. really close friends.. and 1 special friend.. suddenly i miss every1.. all the ppl that i was really close with.. i really miss my sec1 and 2 classmates.. maybe i should name some.. i know they wont be rading but its okay... haha its roy and darren.. haiz.. really miss them we were once so close.. but after sec 3 all of us went different ways.... to our different class and hardly caontact each other since then.. really miss them...

2ndly it those ppl from my bb coy.. should i say ppl of the 1990 batch.. maybe i should name some but if i dint list ur name dun worry as long as u are in tat batch u are counted.. okay.. here are some of the ppl who really make a great impact in my.. which is John, Jorim, Leon and Tom... and 1 guy which is my very fun senior.. called mathew.. which we always disturb his with the cow song... i really miss them lots.. as i see through the flash backs.. i actually cried.. i just couldnt control myself i guess other then my CG i guess this group of ppl is the ones that i really cannot afford to lose...

3rdly is my dearest cg.. even though i meet them every week.. but i really hope our cg sessions can be as long as possible (i know its impossible)... really miss each and everyone lots... maybe i can name all my Cg members

Me, myself
Sarah
emily
melissa
joanne
anthony
leonard
caryn
dorcas(i dunno if i had spelt wrongly)
andrina

for my friends pls dun get it wrong i miss them its not bcuz there are so many girls.. its abt the friendship.. k?

4thly, it the group of ppl i have been hanging out lately.. with are also my church mates.. they have been really encouraging, nice and kind.. and most of all willing to listen to you... sometimes i just hope that time will slow down so that i can really enjoy more together with them.. i know its a bit selfish.. but... haiz.. nth.. i just miss each and everyone lots even though we meet like once every alternate days.. yup..

lastly 1 very special friend.. but i shall not mention the name hahas.. cuz i jusst dun wish to disclose it.. and pls dun force me to tell u.. i will feel bad.. haha.. i miss tat person lots too.. but i guess its really time for me to foreget.. and move on... it really tough.. but i guess no matter wat life still gotta move on.. haha. yup..

acutally i hate a the "missing" feeling.. its always the things that causes me to breakdown or to become sad.. hah.. maybe i just cant stop myself from missing every1.. haha.. yup... yup.. yup.. ouch my right arm is aching now haha.. i guess its also the time for me to slp haha.. haiz.. until now im still thinking of my BB boys.. really miss the days we had.. the time we spend.. the time where we will lead together.. joke together, walk together share together and eat together.. i really really hopw that even though we might haven gone to different schs but.. we will still get together as close friends always... hope to see all of u soon...

2006-07-09T01:32:00.000+08:00

Refuge

I sing a love song to you Lord
Everyday
everynight
tell of your goodness and mercy
tell the world how you rescue me
pick me up from sin and shame
you breathe give me new life

where can i go from your presence
under your wings i take refuge
your spirits lives within my heart
i know we never be apart

everyday i draw closer to you lord
i long to see your face
and hide in ur embrace
all my life
dwelling in your holy place
my heart oh lord you've change
i'll never be the same
i'll never be the same

2006-07-07T23:48:00.000+08:00

okay.. i feel so sucky now when i see this screen.. i was think ing of so many things to blpg and when blogger finish loading the screen... my mind went blank...

ARH!! sharks forget it im not gonna blog.. i duess when i actually make a proper post next time it will be my last post.........

2006-07-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

arh i guess i will be bloggin lesser since although there is alot to blog.. but nah forget it...

2006-06-30T14:56:00.000+08:00

k actually this isnt really a post abt wat i did ytd.. instead its a post to see who i really am... in most ppl's eyes i seems to be good, kind, caring and out goin.. but as i look back i dun seems to be like tis.. mr pride has really change me.. really change me alot.. i guess its also God who has change me alot..

k let me tell u wat i was in the past..

PAST
- selfish? always think of thinks tat only benefit me.
- always look down on ppl? just bcuz i was smart last time?
- always gossip abt bad things of other ppl with my friends
- break promises that i've made
- quiet
- always reject invitations tat are give to me from all my friends?
- fake to be kind when im not
- act as though im really helpful when i hate to help ppl
- shy

NOW( things i heard from my friends )
- kind
- soft hearted
- emotional
- helpful
- not selfish at all
- always treat ppl when they are really broke even though im broke at times
- take up leadership even though its tough
- faithful to God
- loyal to friends
- laughin box
- noisy
- cheerful
- easy to communicate
- good buddy

when i ask most of my close friends recently or should i say ytd.. i realise i've indeed change alot.. i used to help ppl just because i want to act as if im really helpful to act in front of my friends and bb officers tat im a very nice person.. but after doin this for so many yrs... i realise that helping ppl is no longer a chore to me.. its has become part of me.. instead i would feel terrible not helping ppl..

i have really change alot.. maybe as ppl grow up we do change in our chracter. i've become so noisy.. no longer quiet.. willing to take up the 1st step to talk to ppl whom i dun really knw or ppl who i really find hard to comunicate with.. i can no longer imagine wat i was like in the past.. i can only rmb the present me. and im really glad that i'v change to a better person.. i used to be so anti social. a loner without any close friends..

i guess life is so much better now.. with God guiding me in everything i do.. i feel so comfortable among my friends especially my Cg. now i just cant stop thinking of how to help my friends when they need help..

i just cant believe that i've become so good.. i was expecting ppl to say lots of bad things abt me.. maybe there are but they just keep it to themselves.. but im really thankful for God to hav change in me.. or maybe im been influence by all the nice and kind friends that i hav i guess

2006-06-28T12:21:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!... cant believe im SICK now.... haiz.....

2006-06-28T00:09:00.001+08:00

ok guess.. i have lots of thigns to blog today.. yup.. lots and lots of things.. but i guess i gonna type juz a few and continue if i rmb them tmr..

hasnt been feeling so good since ytd.. i feel ok.. im really ok.. but i just feel so messy inside.. and i couldnt sleep at all ytd.. so woke up early to extend my passport.. then went home to slack and then went church to study.. i guess todae is just a bad day like yongling had said...

im really happy as i manage to finish wat im supose to do..=) but then lots of things happen during dinner and during the study period.. its really bad.. i just hate it when they say.."ya thats your cg not ours." i know they are joking but i just hate it.. why must we mention our cg and their cg.. WE WERE ONCE A CG afterall.. its really terrible.. i know its just a spastic joke but maybe i just cant stand it.. im really sori if u are the 1 that say it today.. it doesnt mean that i hate the ppl that say that...

i feel so uneasy today.. ytd... everyday.. i feel that God is promoting me that somethings is gonna happen.. and everytime when i had this feeling it very accurate.. so i just hate it alot.. i guess.. each 1 of us must really seek God 1st b4 we do anything..

there have been great time where actually hope to help but time after time.. all the things we had asked ppl to do.. we just dont seems to be able to do it.. isnt this ironic.. i tell ppl to cheer up yet.. im not being able to do so.. URGH!!...

i just dun get it.. maybe its bcuz i belong to the emotional group of ppl.. we just get ppl sadness even though it has nth gotta do with us.. and especially when its emotional ppl like me which really thinks alot.. we just cant seems to hide other feelings.. we are always so transparent even though we maybe seems to be so strong on the outside.. its really tough to be always cheerful.. i really envy those ppl who really doesnt have much troubles.. feelng so carefree..

haiz.. i guess. i just cant change wat im really am.. the 1 who is always thinking so deeply and get emotional so easily.. haiz.. i guess emotions is the things that every human has been struggling with.. which also includes me..

ya.. tats all shall continue tmr....

feelings are hard to manages with..
there maybe good feelings
there may also be bad feelings...
but if we just bottled our feelings in ourselves..
eventually its just a breakdown for yourself..
Seek God in whatever we do..
ASK and shall be given..
HIDE and shall be forsaken..
but just rmb.. no matter wat..
God and ur true friends will always be there for u..

2006-06-28T00:09:00.000+08:00

2006-06-26T22:27:00.000+08:00

okay.. feeling so crap this few days... erm.. but i was rather happy on sun.. haha.. its really fun last sun.. it the 1st session of the new cg and i guess every thing went smoothly ya? then we had some impression thingy.. then after that some sharing.. then we played fifa06 on ps2.. haha its really funny.. haha.. lots of funny goals.. yup.. thehn service.. then florrball.. then dinner.. yup..

things appears to be nice on the surface.. but when u actually open up... u will be filled with lots of surprises.. surprises tat might make u happy and also at the same time make u sad..

2006-06-23T00:21:00.000+08:00

i;ve been staring at this screen for like half an hour but i just couldnt think of anything to post.. there are alot of thing thats stiring in me.. i want to blog it.. but.. i just cant think of wat to write.. i really hate this kind of feelings.. its really terrible..

its has been a week and im still feeling so low and heavy.. i just dont feel like my normal self.. everything seems to be in the wrong driections.. i just felt so lost.. lost in everything.. getting lousier in floorball.. losing concentration.. no mood to do this and that.. i just so dun feel like my ownself anymore. when playing florrball suddenly i just dun feel so good holding the stick.. i seems to have lost the feelings controling the ball... shooting the ball... passing the ball.. i feel like im just a total noob.. so noob.. haiz..

then after floorball actually i dun feel like goin anywhere not home.. not to my pri sch gathering.. juz so feeling liek stoning in church.. but in the end i still went for the pri sch gathering.. and when i actually got there.. i was really disappointed.. i thought there would be more ppl.. instead of just 5 ppl.. so we just went on to have our dinner at fish&co. then we went to arcade.. but i dint play much lar. cuz i hate playing in arcade ever since i lost my card quite long ago.. then i went home..

i feeling liek im over troubled with too many things.. its so stressful.. haiz.

2006-06-21T00:50:00.000+08:00

erm.. woke up at 8am todae to study. until 9 then called Sarah to wake her up.. haha..then continue to study again till noon went to watch tv.. play with my bro.. erm.. actually im feeling much better todae.. so much better.. yup.. but deep in my the pain and sadness is still there.. juz trying my best not to think abt it.

then was chatting with sarah while im taking a rest after studying.. then after tat study again.. but i stop pretty soon.. cuz i couldnt take it anymore.. but im really happy tat i manage to study and recall quite alot of things... =) yup.. then went imm for dinner... yup then raeach home at 11..
then chat with daryl as usual.. Sarah, Yongling and Eddie.. haha.. yup... gotta go soon.. yup bb.. i guess todae is the earliest that i actually would go and sleep.. haha..

2006-06-20T00:55:00.000+08:00

Guess today was a really bad day... Or should I say a traumatizing day.. its liek so many things are happening.. so fast.. 1st its was the last outing of Cg.. then Cg splitting.. then now... my Dog die.. haiz... its really really sad.. its just so terrible.. hopefully i can see him in heaven... haha.. i knw its sounds stupid.. aiya wadever... i shall stop blogging.. anyway i cut my hair today haha..

2006-06-20T00:49:00.000+08:00

a new cHaP of my life.......

2006-06-19T00:29:00.000+08:00

erm.. something really big happen today.. its the splitting of my Cg... its really sad.. the feeling is still there even until now.. i juz feel so painful deep in me.. and i couldnt control myself during Cg and i cried.. i felt so paiseh.. but i juz cant control the tears..

im sure its really good that our Cg had spilt.. like wat sam had said.. we wont grow if we dun split. and i totally agree with it.. but i guess it normal that i will feel so terrible only when the splitting had happen today.. i really miss the Cg now.. its not even 1 day and im beginning to miss the Cg.. haiz..

then we went to play floorball.. i tried to play till im really wear out.. im really tired now.. maybe that is the only way that i can stop myself from feelinng so sad temperory.. i tried to release everything while im playing.. but as im walking home.. the thoughts came back again.. i guess it really gonna take some time to relief my saddness..

actually when i heard Sarah saying why we can just get over the saddness so fast.. and i just smiloe to her.. acting as though i can really get over it in just 1 day.. but actually i cant.. im putting on my mask again.. as i dun really hope to see the Cg feeling so down.

maybe its like wat ben had said.. its just another chapter starting in our life.. among the Cg.. BUT 1 thing that is never new and is gonna exist forever is Under Consturction.. i will nvr forget my dearest Cg...